Winter Time Slide…

Ugh… I did it again. I let the blog go for almost three months. I just lost motivation. I was half way through writing about my honeymoon trip and just lost it. I’ve picked that piece up and hopefully will have it out by the end of the week. I’d like to say that I was just catching up on some “me” time and was out exploring cool sites but I can’t.

I had a round with depression. It was situational, stemming from a couple factors and I’m better now.

Part of it stemmed from the shutdown, as some of you know I work for the federal government, and the scrambling involved. I wound up pulling extra shifts on my local ambulance and picked up a job waiting tables- more out of boredom than anything. I hate sitting still unless I’m trying to get a great shot or reading a good book. Still it’s a little demoralizing when people say you’re non-essential and should go look for another job, etc. etc. I love my job and the term “non-essential” just means the place won’t burn down if I’m not there.

This is one reason I didn’t get out and hike in some of the cooler places around my home- in a show of solidarity I stayed off public lands- I didn’t want to contribute to the extended workload of the poor folks who were deemed essential. I think the staying home gave me cabin fever though and contributed to my bout of depression.

On top of that we had a round with what I deemed sub-arctic weather (at least for my southern Missouri roots), it got bone-chilling cold for several days. Especially with the windchill, we were looking at -20 plus days in a row for a while. I really didn’t want to leave the house on those days. I did mainly to walk the dog but I was wearing lots of layers and I was still cold. One day my sunglasses froze over from the condensation while wearing a baklava.

Now, it’s just snowing on and off with temps above zero but I’m a wimp. Plus when the drifts are up to your thighs in places, well for me most people it might hit there knees/shins, it makes hiking in the snow without snowshoes a pain. (Come on next Christmas).

However, these two main factors mixed in with a few smaller things just messed with me mentally. I’ve always thought of myself as a happy person and thought depression would never be a problem but the stressors really affected me this time around. I didn’t want to slide any further than I did so I talked to some counselors and that helped. My husband is amazing- he let me rant about everything and told me it would be okay.

I also started working out more indoors, I have a treadmill in the basement that I got for winter days and I really put the miles on it- I also invested in a little stair stepper. I started reading all the time- which was always my go too. Or I was torturing my dog with photos. I got a new iPhone and was playing with the camera. I was coming out of my funk when we hit day 35 and I found out I would be going back to work.

I’m doing better and I’ve got my motivation back. Well, for writing and planning hikes this summer. I’m still not thrilled with the “feels like 3 degrees” days and I’ll be “patiently” counting down the days till spring. Plus the two nights waiting tables a week will help fund my “winter clothing collection” for next year…

To happier trails,

BJ