Wintertime Blues

Hi all,

I’m finally over the cough from hell— just took antibiotics.

Well, I did slip into a SAD episode. My mental health is jumping up and down—before screaming and faceplanting on the floor, mimicking my toddler.

I know the steps to take but it’s hard to pull yourself out of the slump. I try to take extra vitamin d, find the sun in the clouds, and trying to stay active. But when you have nearly a week of beautiful weather and then you turn around to negative numbers and snow it messes with you.

I’ve just felt overwhelmed the last few weeks- it’s been a slow build; being sick, dealing with everything going on in the world, and catching up with work I find myself dealing with executive disfunction. I know what I need to do, I have the list, I want to do the steps on my list, but my brain is like, “nah— we are going to stare aimlessly and make you panic more.”

My normal tricks for getting my brain to restart are not totally working this time. Plus, I got sucked into TikTok drama going on— which normally, I somehow manage to miss completely or only hear about it like a week later. It’s weird for me to catch social trends in “real” time. I managed to go a little longer than a decade, something I’ll be talking about in a future video on YouTube, not getting sucked into the drama of influencers. Not this time. I got a front seat courtesy of my for you page. Two observations from the Chelsea/Lance drama.

  1. Wait to comment or post until the third day.
  2. People do not understand intersectionality and refuse to look at nuances; in favor of their preferred creator (biases).
  3. Bonus observation: major creators are performative at best and malicious at worst when it comes social issues.
  4. Major takeaway: the fact that a Native woman was dragged into the mess (she was not involved other than one of her videos had been reposted by Lance), harassed, and had her account banned was astounding. Chelsea did her dirty and didn’t take accountability for how her followers attacked her and how Anne Marie argued and gaslighted Witchtwitchy and both disregarding that she didn’t want to be tagged, “sent followers,” or promoted on their channels. She just wanted an apology for how larger creators created a storm that would affect all of NativeTok– and her channel in particular. *crickets,* increased harassment of Native women creators, and eventual banning of Witchtwitchy…
  5. Also: this made it harder for SA survivors to tell their stories without more questions and dismissals.

I stand by my, “if you have to self promote your good deeds– you’re not doing it for the right reason.”

Being a basic human being and advocating for rights of others is not a stepping stone to influencer status. Making a statement on social media but doing questionable content for mutuals and on other social media platforms– and not putting your money where your mouth is and only doing photo-ops that make you look good– is performative activism to validate your “platform” and build an audience. It doesn’t actually change anything.

I’m hoping in the coming weeks the weather will improve but I think I’m overdue for a hike and unplugging from social media for a few days (maybe weeks).

Keep wandering,


P.S. Please read Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall, as a white woman I need more education on the nuances and intersectionality in feminism and so do others– especially, before jumping into a internet debate or you know real life debates.

Published by BJ

I've always enjoyed the outdoors; I love camping, kayaking, and canoeing. However, I decided to break out the hiking boots for longer than a day or two and dive into the world of backpacking.

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